Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The Hopeful Return

If being gone for almost a year isn't a good enough reason to start blogging again, I'm not sure what is.

It's not that we've had nothing going on. If anything it's the opposite. Yes there was the usual having a new baby and learning how to work as a two child household, but more of it came from the vacation we took last June. It was the biggest, long awaited vacation we have ever taken, and I was fully aware from the beginning that there might not be another trip like it. We had definitely planned to write about everything that happened.

 Multiple times every week I would (and still do) find myself composing a blog post in my head. Mr. and I even discussed them quite often for months after our vacation. How do we separate the days/events? If we want to rate things, do we do it all in one post or in a narrative? Disagreements led to arguments led to 'You can still post' or 'I'm still going to post', I don't remember which, led to feeling guilty about posting OR not posting.

In the past year we've had two good friends get married, I was a bridesmaid at one, and made a short speech, and Mr. Covington performed the ceremony at the other. These occurrences made me think about the overused trope of waiting until the last moment to do you vows. I saw it multiple times as a child/young adult, and often thought how silly it was, that they would leave the most important bit until last. I didn't leave my vows until the last minute, but I certainly did leave them until the last month of a multi-year engagement. For the wedding Clark performed, I happened to know that the ceremony was put to paper the day of.

The thing is, I realized, that putting ideas to paper limits them. Are we leaving something out? Will they understand how important this person is to me? It is hard to contain all the reasons why someone is important to you in mere words, whether you are trying to contain all the events of a friendship or all the possibilities of a lifetime. So to it was difficult for us to contemplate taking this life changing event and parsing it into words, to try to express the importance of some of the moments that occurred, and to maybe parse them into something that an audience might get something out of. It is rare to me to remember what I did last week. I get lost in a town I've lived in for a year. But I feel like I can remember every day of our trip, and if you dropped me in downtown Portland, I could find the market or Voodoo Donuts or my way to Food Fight Grocery. Basically, it was a big deal, and we didn't want to get it wrong.

But rather that worrying about somehow getting something wrong, or leaving something out, I want to write about it, to get the story out, and maybe somehow along the way we can leave an idea or important piece of knowledge or a new way of looking at things, and if so that's great. If not, that's ok too-perhaps the lesson is mine to learn.

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